The Smell of Rain, an excerpt

[furandfeathers]

Well I'm going to be a sheep. I wrote this earlier this evening, and really liked it though, so I'm sharing.
Anyway, this plot, is something that I've had forever, that I kept trying to write as a screenplay and I could never get anywhere. So I'm doing it for NaNo with the intent of adapting it into a screenplay. Anywho, this particular excerpt, I can absolutely see Maggie Smith and Judi Dench playing these characters. What do you think?


When the story was over, Madison decided to go to bed early, since she was still exhausted from her overnight journey. Clare lingered with Brita for a little while longer in front of the fire.
“What do you think of her now?” Clare asked her long time friend.
“She’s lovely. A genuinely nice girl.” Brita replied.
“You know what I meant.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Oh for heaven’s sake Brita. The rest of the world you can run from, yes. Not me. You never could, and I hope for your sake you never do.” Clare said, reaching out a hand to grasp the fire poker and stir up the ashes, making the flames leap up again.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Brita asked, in a low voice.
“If I left you to your own devices you would destroy yourself and you know it.” Clare told her simply.
“You’re feeling awfully self important, aren’t you? Do you really think I couldn’t survive without you?” Brita asked, sardonically.
“You couldn’t. Just like I couldn’t have survived twelve years ago without you. At this point, I think we can only exist as long as we have each other.”
“Perhaps you’re right. I might have gone insane at a much quicker rate without you.” Brita conceded.
“Well you’ve driven me to madness so we’re even, old friend.”
“I still don’t see what this has to do with Madison.”
“You really don’t see it?” Clare asked, genuinely surprised.
“See what?” Brita’s voice held more than a hint if exasperation.
“It’s quite obvious, actually.” Clare began, and a glare of annoyance from Brita made her hastily continue. “She’s you, Brita.”

[OSUSprinks]

Ooooh I want more. No really, Ro, this is awesome. Having the image of Judi and Maggie made the scene a bit more real for me, but I would have enjoyed it either way.

Maybe I should post an excerpt from mine... I will think about it. After all, one hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong... lol

[Smaug]

*Is very curious* Wow. Please post some more for us, don't just leave it there... I loved their little tiff, and the ending was really intriguing.

[furandfeathers]

Since I've been plugging along rather nicely (16,020 words) i thought I'd share some of what I wrote today. It's a rather lengthy excerpt, but I like it, for the most part.


Outside in the garden, Madison turned to Liam.
“That’s the second time she’s done that.” She told him.
“Done what?”
“Said something so random like that, and then completely pulled in on herself.” She said. “It’s like she’s hiding something.”
“Well that’s sort of like the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, turning to face him. It was dark now, and the sky was clear, allowing the moon to bathe the garden in a pale white glow.
“You’ve done that yourself. It seems to me you’re both hiding something.”
“I guess I shouldn’t pry.” She said, ignoring his comment about her hiding something.
“You’re doing it again,” there was a hint of amusement in his voice and he moved closer. “Changing the subject. You’re awfully good at it, when the questioning turns on you.”
“Is that so wrong?” she asked, looking up into his face. His back was to the moon, blanketing his features in shadow. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
“No, not wrong. Not if you have a good reason to.”
“I don’t want to talk about a lot of things,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I know. What I don’t know is why.” He replied in the same quiet tone.
“You would if you knew what they were.”
“Tell me,” he said, softly, taking her hand. “Help me understand.”
He could see the struggle on her face. “I can’t.” she said at last. “Please…”
His finger on her lips stopped her from completing the sentence. “it’s all right.” He told her.
Pulling her hand out of his, she turned away, wandering over to the rose bushes that were Brita’s pride and joy. She reached out to touch one of the silvery white blooms, as she felt Liam move behind her.
“You’re going to kill it. You said so yourself,” he told her, resting his hands on her shoulders.
“I apologized to it first,” she replied.
“Here,” he reached around her, and plucked the perfect rose off the vine.
“Well that’s definitely going to kill it,” she couldn’t stop the sarcastic comment that tumbled out of her mouth.
Liam didn’t answer her, just turned her to face him, before carefully tucking the rose into her hair. ‘Perfect,” he said. She smiled at him, before taking his hand once more and they continued walking around the garden.

Inside the house, Clare and Brita were working silently to clean up to the kitchen. At length, Clare spoke.
“Why do you do it to yourself, Brita?” she asked.
For a long moment, Brita didn’t answer, just continued savagely scrubbing at a plate that was already clean. Clare moved beside her and gently removed the sponge from her hand. “What did that plate do to you?” she said, lightly.
“I don’t.” Brita at last spoke.
“Don’t?” Clare didn’t quite understand.
“I don’t intentionally do it to myself, you must know that. You, of all people. I can’t help it sometimes, though. He’s always there. Always in my thoughts at the back of my mind and every once in awhile something like that brings him crashing to the front again. I don’t do it on purpose, it just happens!” Brita cried.
“Oh, Brita. You can’t go on like this, you’re killing yourself. Anderson wouldn’t have wanted that.”
“Have you forgotten Declan?” Brita shot back.
“Of course not, and I didn’t say you should forget him. I’m saying you can’t let it torment you every waking moment.”
“I should just get over him, that’s what you’re saying. I suppose you’ve gotten over Declan.” Brita said, her eyes filling with tears.
“I have not,” Clare said, her eyes blazing for a moment. “It was different with me and Declan.”
“Yes, you had a whole lifetime together!” Brita exclaimed. “Do you know what today is?”
“Today?” Clare said, for a moment confused.
“November 8th.” Brita said, her voice dropping back to a reasonable volume.
“November… Oh, Brita, I’d forgotten. I’m so sorry.”
Brita let the dish rag that she’d been drying her hands with fall to the floor, and she soon followed it, sinking to the ground as her tears consumed her. She leaned against the sink, as the emotion she had been holding in all day came pouring out. Clare moved to sit on the floor beside her, wrapping her arms around her friend, holding her tightly as she cried.
Brita cried into Clare’s shoulder for several long minutes, before her tears began to slow. Clare didn’t move though, she knew Brita better than that. They went through this every year. It was the first year that Clare had forgotten though, and she felt incredibly guilty. Her dear friend had been holding in her tears all day, and Clare hadn’t even noticed.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered to Brita, “I’m so sorry for neglecting you, I’m sorry for not remembering, I’m sorry it ever happened, but most of all I’m sorry for being a bad friend.”
“You haven’t,” Brita choked out, “You haven’t been a bad friend. You’ve only been the best friend I could possibly have. You shouldn’t have to remember today, I should be able to let go. But Clare, I can’t. I’ve lived with it for so long I don’t think I can let go. I’m not as strong as you are.” Brita said, tears flowing again.
“It’s all right. I understand. We’ll get through this, we always have, and as long as we have each other, we always will.” Clare told her, rocking her soothingly, like a mother would a frightened child.
Brita was just beginning to calm, when to door to the garden opened, and Madison and Liam reentered the house. They stopped dead at the sight before them.
“What…?” Madison began, but Clare shook her head. Now wasn’t the time for questions.
“Come on, Brita. Let’s go upstairs. I think it’s best if you went to bed early tonight. I can finish cleaning up in here.” Clare said gently, standing and pulling her friend off the floor. For once, Brita didn’t argue, just allowed herself to be lead upstairs and tucked into bed.
Madison and Liam looked at each other, but neither knew what had caused Brita to collapse as she had. At Madison’s suggestion, they finished cleaning up the kitchen together, and moved into the living room.
That was where Clare found them a few minutes later, sitting together on the sofa before the fire, playing the thumb war game. Madison looked up immediately when she entered the room, which resulted in Liam being able to pin her thumb down rather quickly.
“Is she all right?” Madison asked.
“She’s sleeping.” Clare said, settling in her chair across from them.
“What’s wrong? Was it something we said?” Liam asked.
Clare shook her head. “No, it wasn’t you.” She was too tired for a lengthy explanation, and it wasn’t her place to tell them anyway. She told them simply, “It’s November 8th.”

[OSUSprinks]

That was very interesting and again it just left me wanting more!