Post by furandfeathers on Sept 27, 2011 19:20:43 GMT -5
Some nonsense inspired by my efforts to avoid the Jehovah's Witnesses that stalk try to convert us. Please don't be offended...I only meant to vent a little, and maybe make you giggle.
I don't own anything, JK Rowling does.
Rating: K+
Send Them On Their Way
Minerva McGonagall was leaning against the counter in the summer cottage she shared with her husband, watching the man in question as he took his turn washing dishes by hand. He didn’t seem to mind it nearly as much as she did. Their cottage was secluded, but occasionally muggles did stumble upon it on their way to and from the beach. Albus was just finishing the last of the dishes when the doorbell rang.
“What on earth was that?” Minerva asked, reaching into her pocket for her wand.
“The doorbell, my dear. It’s all right,” Albus said soothingly.
“We have a doorbell?” She asked.
“Most muggles residences do,” Albus said. “Or knockers.”
Minerva’s eyes widened.
“Not that kind!” Albus chuckled. “Your students would never believe where your mind wanders sometimes.”
She rolled her eyes at him, and went to answer the door. She opened it to find two older women on their doorstep.
“Hello! I hope you don’t mind us barging in like this. I’m Carol, and this is Anne. We had no idea that anyone was living up here, but we saw you walking this way with your…father? So we thought we’d come and introduce ourselves.”
“Um…” Minerva stared at the strangely friendly muggle women for a moment, trying to process the cheerful tone. “I’m Minerva. My…father?” She stuttered a bit.
“Yes, the older gentlemen that you were with.” Carol said.
“Oh, you mean Albus. He’s my husband.”
Carol and Anne were stunned into silence. They blinked a few times each before Anne was brave enough to ask, “Can I ask how old you are?”
Minerva raised an eyebrow. “Sixty two.”
“Oh, my! I’m so sorry. My dear, I wish I could age like you- you look easily twenty years younger.” Carol apologized profusely.
“It’s all right. Happens more than you think. Was there something I could help you with?” Minerva asked. She had a sinking feeling that these women were what the muggles called Jehovah’s Witnesses, and she wracked her brain for a way to get rid of them.
“We wanted to speak with you about our Lord Jesus Christ.”
“Of course you do,” Minerva couldn’t stop the comment.
“Are you Christians?” Carol asked. She was clearly the leader. Minerva thought for a moment.
“More or less,” she told Carol.
“We’d love to help you become more, rather than less. You do believe in Jesus?” Carol asked sweetly.
“Um…well, as a wise man, sure,” Minerva was again at a loss for words. “I’m really more of an academic than anything.”
“Let me give your some of our literature. Do you have a minute for us to talk to you about how you can be saved? The Rapture is coming, you know.”
“Actually, we’re just about to have lunch, perhaps another time?” Minerva grasped at the first excuse that came to her.
“Yes, of course. When is a good time for you?” Carol asked.
“I’m not really sure…we’re on vacation you see, and I’m not sure what our plans are…” Minerva trailed off, trying not to commit.
“Of course. We’ll just stop in, and try to catch you. All right?” Carol asked.
“Um…sure.” Minerva replied.
“Wonderful. It was nice to meet you, Minerva, and we’ll see you soon. Here, you can keep these,” Carol said, pushing The Watchtower into Minerva’s hands. “Have a good day!”
“Yes…you too…” Minerva said, giving them a small smile and shutting the door behind them.
“Who was it?” Albus asked, when she entered the living room, where he was reclining on the sofa. Minerva dropped the periodical on his chest.
“Oh, I’ve heard of them!” He said. “Did they convert you?”
“Not likely,” Minerva snorted, lifting his feet so she could sit, before settling them in her lap. “They thought you were my father!”
“Did you set them straight?” Albus asked.
“I did. They were scandalized.” Minerva couldn’t help but laugh at the thought, and Albus’ eyes twinkled merrily.
“So you sent them away?”
“Not exactly.” Minerva said. “They were so sweet and cheerful, I didn’t know how to tell them ‘thanks, but I’m a content atheist’ politely.”
Albus laughed.
“It’s not funny!” Minerva said. “How do we get rid of them? They even know my name now.”
“We could tell them the truth.” Albus said.
“That we’re content atheists? They’d probably just try harder to save us. The Rapture is coming, you know,” Minerva repeated Carol’s earlier statement, but in a far more sarcastic tone.
“That we’re wizards.” Albus said. “Well, I am. You’re a witch. Imagine the looks on their faces.”
Minerva giggled. “I don’t they could handle that. It would turn their world upside down.”
“You could be their new savior.” Albus chuckled.
“Oh, stop! You’re terrible. Seriously, Albus, what do I do?” Minerva asked.
“I was serious. Tell them. And then, because you’re a witch, obliviate them and send them on their way.”
“This is why I love you. You’re brilliant.” Minerva relaxed back against the cushions and closed her eyes. After a moment she snorted softly. “My father, indeed.”
A/N Part Two: Yes, the Jehovah's Witnesses thought my boyfriend was my father. He has a beard, and I look like I'm 12. It wasn't the first time that's happened, but the looks on their faces when I set them straight were PRICELESS.
Hope you enjoyed it
*Ro
I don't own anything, JK Rowling does.
Rating: K+
Send Them On Their Way
Minerva McGonagall was leaning against the counter in the summer cottage she shared with her husband, watching the man in question as he took his turn washing dishes by hand. He didn’t seem to mind it nearly as much as she did. Their cottage was secluded, but occasionally muggles did stumble upon it on their way to and from the beach. Albus was just finishing the last of the dishes when the doorbell rang.
“What on earth was that?” Minerva asked, reaching into her pocket for her wand.
“The doorbell, my dear. It’s all right,” Albus said soothingly.
“We have a doorbell?” She asked.
“Most muggles residences do,” Albus said. “Or knockers.”
Minerva’s eyes widened.
“Not that kind!” Albus chuckled. “Your students would never believe where your mind wanders sometimes.”
She rolled her eyes at him, and went to answer the door. She opened it to find two older women on their doorstep.
“Hello! I hope you don’t mind us barging in like this. I’m Carol, and this is Anne. We had no idea that anyone was living up here, but we saw you walking this way with your…father? So we thought we’d come and introduce ourselves.”
“Um…” Minerva stared at the strangely friendly muggle women for a moment, trying to process the cheerful tone. “I’m Minerva. My…father?” She stuttered a bit.
“Yes, the older gentlemen that you were with.” Carol said.
“Oh, you mean Albus. He’s my husband.”
Carol and Anne were stunned into silence. They blinked a few times each before Anne was brave enough to ask, “Can I ask how old you are?”
Minerva raised an eyebrow. “Sixty two.”
“Oh, my! I’m so sorry. My dear, I wish I could age like you- you look easily twenty years younger.” Carol apologized profusely.
“It’s all right. Happens more than you think. Was there something I could help you with?” Minerva asked. She had a sinking feeling that these women were what the muggles called Jehovah’s Witnesses, and she wracked her brain for a way to get rid of them.
“We wanted to speak with you about our Lord Jesus Christ.”
“Of course you do,” Minerva couldn’t stop the comment.
“Are you Christians?” Carol asked. She was clearly the leader. Minerva thought for a moment.
“More or less,” she told Carol.
“We’d love to help you become more, rather than less. You do believe in Jesus?” Carol asked sweetly.
“Um…well, as a wise man, sure,” Minerva was again at a loss for words. “I’m really more of an academic than anything.”
“Let me give your some of our literature. Do you have a minute for us to talk to you about how you can be saved? The Rapture is coming, you know.”
“Actually, we’re just about to have lunch, perhaps another time?” Minerva grasped at the first excuse that came to her.
“Yes, of course. When is a good time for you?” Carol asked.
“I’m not really sure…we’re on vacation you see, and I’m not sure what our plans are…” Minerva trailed off, trying not to commit.
“Of course. We’ll just stop in, and try to catch you. All right?” Carol asked.
“Um…sure.” Minerva replied.
“Wonderful. It was nice to meet you, Minerva, and we’ll see you soon. Here, you can keep these,” Carol said, pushing The Watchtower into Minerva’s hands. “Have a good day!”
“Yes…you too…” Minerva said, giving them a small smile and shutting the door behind them.
“Who was it?” Albus asked, when she entered the living room, where he was reclining on the sofa. Minerva dropped the periodical on his chest.
“Oh, I’ve heard of them!” He said. “Did they convert you?”
“Not likely,” Minerva snorted, lifting his feet so she could sit, before settling them in her lap. “They thought you were my father!”
“Did you set them straight?” Albus asked.
“I did. They were scandalized.” Minerva couldn’t help but laugh at the thought, and Albus’ eyes twinkled merrily.
“So you sent them away?”
“Not exactly.” Minerva said. “They were so sweet and cheerful, I didn’t know how to tell them ‘thanks, but I’m a content atheist’ politely.”
Albus laughed.
“It’s not funny!” Minerva said. “How do we get rid of them? They even know my name now.”
“We could tell them the truth.” Albus said.
“That we’re content atheists? They’d probably just try harder to save us. The Rapture is coming, you know,” Minerva repeated Carol’s earlier statement, but in a far more sarcastic tone.
“That we’re wizards.” Albus said. “Well, I am. You’re a witch. Imagine the looks on their faces.”
Minerva giggled. “I don’t they could handle that. It would turn their world upside down.”
“You could be their new savior.” Albus chuckled.
“Oh, stop! You’re terrible. Seriously, Albus, what do I do?” Minerva asked.
“I was serious. Tell them. And then, because you’re a witch, obliviate them and send them on their way.”
“This is why I love you. You’re brilliant.” Minerva relaxed back against the cushions and closed her eyes. After a moment she snorted softly. “My father, indeed.”
A/N Part Two: Yes, the Jehovah's Witnesses thought my boyfriend was my father. He has a beard, and I look like I'm 12. It wasn't the first time that's happened, but the looks on their faces when I set them straight were PRICELESS.
Hope you enjoyed it
*Ro
